Cardpocalypse is free on Epic

Monday, anime/Disney perverts got really happy because Kingdom Hearts IV got a new trailer and release window. Tuesday, Stick it to the Stickman is coming out of early access. Wednesday, Patrick Swayze simulator (not the sex one) got a release date, and Titan Quest II got a crafting system. Thursday, RetroSpace got an October release date; beware of the biggest horror in space, 70s moustaches. Now, if only I could muster any desire to write for everything else here today.

Moving on to the Epic Games Store and the double bill so uninspiring it makes some of what I wrote about last Friday with Prime Gaming/Luna look exciting. We’ll start with something so worthless they have to tell you how “valuable” it is, Albion Online‘s “Epic Mage Bundle.” In said bundle, you get some skins, including mage robes and a hat, a mount skin, and several in-game currencies. Apparently, this is worth $55, but my question is: To whom and why are they not locked up with the other crazies?

The “proper” offering this week doesn’t look much better visually despite its more conventional nonsense and its positive reviews. Released in 2020, Cardpocalypse is a narrative card-battling (shocker, I know) strategy TCG set in the 90s and is the thematic reason for the hand-drawn art style looking a bit “meh.” I get that it is supposed to look that way, but I am looking at it and just making a dismissive sound. Admittedly, maybe because I am busy with other games, but all the same, I don’t think I’d go out of my way to play Cardpocalypse as I would Gambrinous’ other game, Guild of Dungeoneering.

Hold on, because there is more! Unlike the previous two, though, I can actually say something about this one because I can copy-paste what I said last week. Caravan SandWitch is a colorful and light sci-fi exploration adventure game about finding a missing sister with an environmental subtext under it all. Oddly enough, available via mobile this week, I don’t know how much I’d want to play a narrative adventure like this on a five-inch screen propped up by a rather limp leather case.

All this week, you can pick up both the “Epic Mage Bundle” for Albion Online and Cardpocalypse on the Epic Games Store for PC until the 27th of August. You can also pick up Caravan SandWitch on the Epic Games Store mobile app until the 27th, too. On to next week, and I think I’ve fallen and hit my head, because it is a pony game and a survival crafting thing. First up, PikPok (an NBC drama’s version of TikTok) has Rival Stars Horse Racing: Desktop Edition, and because its sequel is releasing into early access next week, you can pick up Breathedge from RedRuins Softworks.