Monday, Clean Start gets a November release and looks very pretty. Tuesday, Moomin: Midsummer Madness will be released outside of midsummer, and THQ Nordic did a showcase of some of its upcoming titles. Wednesday, The Money Man has a demo out now, Kitchen Sync: The Flying Tavern is anime Masterchef, and Blizzard, of all the Xbox Studios, is leading the publishing label’s performance markers (probably in making money). Thursday, Over The Hill gets an October release date.

Moving on to the Epic Games Store, and thankfully it is only one game for both PC and for mobile individually. We’ll start with the one I expected to be held another 4 weeks because that would have been funny, but I assume people are still annoyed at Caravan SandWitch despite what they say. That “controversy” aside, let’s talk about the game:

Released September 12th 2024, Caravan SandWitch is a colorful and light sci-fi exploration adventure game about finding a missing sister with an environmental subtext under it all. There is a bit of jank and gameplay not being a great focus, French developer and all, but that isn’t what certain people’s main complaint about Caravan SandWitch is in negative reviews. Complaints of “Woke,” “need a gender studies degree,” “forced,” and everyone’s favorite “propaganda” tell you exactly who is annoyed by a fictional world and fictional characters being part of the most dangerous gang… the alphabet mafia. Grow up, you snowflakes.

I’m sure the second game via the mobile app wouldn’t actually question their beliefs. Beholder: Conductor is a spin-off of the Beholder series depicting totalitarian control and your place in that world, and in this case, you become a conductor reporting on passengers, incidents they create, and any items that might otherwise be contraband under the ministry’s rule. I bet that has no relevance to today’s political climate, as immigration enforcement has a tip line and is now getting electro-shock gloves.

All this week, you can pick up Caravan SandWitch and Beholder: Conductor on the Epic Games Store until the 20th, with the latter available via the mobile app. Moving on to next week, and I already hate it. First up will be Albion Online‘s “Epic Mage Bundle,” because if League of Legends is too mainstream for you, getting free “premium” guff will make you enjoy a blander-looking game. Meanwhile, 2020’s Cardpocalypse passed the majority of people by because, after Guild of Dungeoneering, the artists at Gambrinous gave up making something that looked interesting.

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