Ahh, I wanted him to die… there are some people who’ll be angry if this is the week IT happens. Last time out was the final episode for our favorite director (don’t lie!), and once again, we’re seeing another exit as Rodman Flender returns from “The Lyin’, the Watch and the Wardrobe,” which I still think needs that Oxford comma. Speaking of something that is done better in England (not a sentence I take lightly), we’re once again talking about a writer for the awful American adaptation of Men Behaving Badly. Bill Wrubel returns for his second of technically only 4 episodes; we’ll talk about that next time.

Following on directly from the previous episode’s antics by hours, if that, everyone is at the hospital. Bradford, who didn’t die, had a massive heart attack. I would too if I asked Shania Twain to be a wedding singer and saw how much she’d be charging. However, it also means that Wilhelmina is scheming once again (shocker) and Betty is surprised when Daniel blanks her in the waiting room after he fired her. What did you expect, a rosette for showing up?

As Betty comes to the realization of that, Claire Meade is doing like the “swishy” little boy downstairs is doing poorly and hiding in Betty’s closet. I don’t know how I haven’t been canceled either. With Betty’s help, Claire and Yoga can escape to Italy after Claire gets reassurance that Wilhelmina isn’t in Bradford’s will, the same will that Willy is trying to will into existence to give her complete and total control of Meade. Meanwhile, Daniel is trying to come to terms with the fact that he, the whole family for that matter, doesn’t say they love each other enough. Oh, and Alexis hopes Bradford is listening to Manfred Mann’s Earth Band.

For all that I’ve praised Ugly Betty in the past for lots of storylines, high pace, and a lot pushing us forward in terms of plotlines, I don’t hate the episode. I don’t hate any of them, except “SWAG,” what the fashion was that? That dreadful episode aside, we are a lot more focused on an A plot – B plot sort of storytelling this time, with a bit of accoutrements, which is French for extra stuff.

We’ll start where I think everyone starts to remember what episode this is, L’Amanda. Only several months on from her debut comedy special and several years on from The Queens of Comedy, Mo’Nique plays the weekend security guard for Mode, L’Amanda, who stays in Amanda’s little circle desk area. After Victoria Beckham, it isn’t a step down, but it is certainly a step sideways: L’Amanda is a bit more impactful with less of that global appeal.

She’s very much the aforementioned accoutrements to other stories: She feeds more into the lore of Mode at work. She befriends Betty the way people at work do (I was called the wrong name for several months for the same reason), stops Betty from getting into the office, and she ( of course) has a thing for “sugarstick.” After my rants in the last few episodes, you’ll be shocked – I mean, actually shocked – that I don’t hate Henry this time out. He’s actually useful and adorable in that stupid puppy sort of way.

After the first interaction with L’Amanda, Betty is clearing out her desk, only to be interrupted by… Betty from “Pilot.” At this point, I had the horrible thought that this could have very easily been a clip episode to make it to the requested 20 episodes, which will be cut to 18 due to future events. Yeah, it is young Betty telling old Betty (literally just a year apart) that she’s changed and not for the better. Can I have a bit of a complaint about this?

Change is good. Yeah, you might not be going in the direction you thought you would be when you were 12 or 22, but you’ve grown, and you can see where you’ve done things that didn’t work, so change that while continuing on this path of growth. That’s a mature thing to say and do. Betty doesn’t listen to that; she listens to her younger self sing that fourth line from the second verse of “Let it Go,” which is weird since this is 2007, and Frozen wouldn’t release until 2013. No, but really, you can do good from inside a terrible place.

I hate this idea that “I need to get out of this bad place to change it or it will change me.” Not really, you just need to have a strong resolve to stay who you are and recognize when it is harming you. It is much easier to fight a system from the inside than from the outside, because from the inside you can see the problems and address them head-on. Fighting from the outside, you don’t fully understand what’s going on to change that system.

Anyway, she’s resigned herself to being fired and moving on, only for her to find Claire and the woman from the cable company in her bedroom. At Claire’s request, Betty is forced to go back to the office and find Bradford’s last will and testament to see if Willy is in the will. This is where L’Amanda really comes into the picture proper, being uncompromising with Betty about getting into the Mode office, and we get Henry distracting her by being the coldest White boy ever to play the game. Indeed, you feel me, my player?

I believe the kids are calling that “cringe.” I don’t hate it because of Henry, but I am a bit uneasy by the fact that we’re playing up the big Black woman as a bit dumb. With Amanda, it makes sense because her character is very much the shallow airhead who is superficial but hurting inside; L’Amanda is played as overly affectionate, really into Henry, oblivious to her surroundings, and her knowledge of just about anything is very limited. Ugly Betty as a whole plays with stereotypes, but for some reason, something here just doesn’t feel like it has been played with to twist it at all.

Mo’Nique is great in the role, and L’Amanda is a big personality, but at the same time, how much of that personality is just a negative stereotype? A bit like Justin this episode, who says that because Bradford had a heart attack, the NFL would suspend the league for the day. There is being a dutiful little fashion gay, and then there is being the stereotype of a fashion gay. I know he’s supposed to be in his early teens, but you can’t be that dense, even if light bends around you. It honestly feels like if you aren’t central to the plot moving forward, you are as shallow as a puddle of sick.

Though Betty is searching for the will, so is Willy. Wee Willy and her little winky (Marc), who know full well that it would probably be in Bradford’s office, or at least that’s where Claire knew it to be, to tell Betty. Truth be told, it is actually in the sex dungeon that Wilhelmina and Henry now know about. I swear, you’re going to have to change the sheets in that place hourly at this rate and put out a book to see who has it reserved for the hour soon enough.

As I say, I don’t really hate “I see Me, I.C.U.,” other than having to type that even once. There isn’t really anything to hate, but I don’t think there is much to say you love either. It is one of those episodes that happens, and you like it; you’ll remember it, but you’ll not entirely remember it the same way you’ll do so with “Derailed,” “Fey’s Sleigh Ride,” or even “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” For one reason or another, there is a line or two that’s memorable, per usual, and certain shots are memorable, but it is all kind of overshadowed by the aftermath.

The whole Daniel part of the episode is about him coming to terms with the fact that he never told his dad that he loves him, with the usual “I don’t know how to say this,” stutter, and walk away before saying it. The Hugh Grant special. Though as Daniel leaves, Bradford meekly says what neither could say all that time. I think you know where this is going, don’t you?

After Wilhelmina schemes to marry Bradford in his hospital bed and Claire makes sure she never gets her hands on Meade at all, Bradford himself is weak. Doctors told the family that he’s unlikely to wake up before he does anyway, and he’s not jumping up and doing a Cary Grant in Indiscreet. If my references get any older, they won’t be in English; they’ll be in mild grunts and cave paintings. Though it does feel like I am dancing around it, given how long-drawn I’m making this.

With the help of Hilda, Claire gets a makeover to look like her fake passport image before deciding that she’ll go to the hospital to see the kids one last time. To which Justin doesn’t recognize Claire in this Sopranos cosplay and doesn’t realize the woman who was on his shirt 13 episodes ago. She’s not Batman or the bland one. Nonetheless, somehow she also gets past loads of press camped out at the hospital because apparently Bradford is like Diana, though no queen cut his breaks, and Claire gets one last chat with Daniel and Alexis before escaping to Italy.

At least that was the plan. With one phone call to Betty, Claire pulls off the wig and gaudy jewelry to walk right past the press and straight to Bradford. Instead, we get Claire and Bradford declaring love for each other for the next 35 years one last time. It is truly a lovely scene that gets all the beats right: Music, direction, and both actors are fantastic. It is Alan Dale and Judith Light for Christ’s sake. Which kind of makes it heartbreaking that, as Claire is being huckled by cops out of the room in handcuffs, Daniel asks Betty to stay with Bradford while he sorts this out.

The point of the scene is very much how Betty has just rejected Daniel’s offer to come back to Mode. This is what I hate about the “I can’t be there, it is changing me” thing. She rejects his offer because her younger self hates that she is now confident enough to walk into a room and know she has power; she knows what she wants, and she can get things done without feeling so meek and needing everyone’s help. Yes, we’ve done bad things, but you have changed for the better, woman. Act like you know that.

Without knowing it, that’s effectively what Bradford says. With his final words, Bradford tells Betty that she’s the only one to truly help Daniel do good, be better, and be the man that Bradford wanted Daniel to be. As soon as he asks for water and Betty turns away, he goes and that’s it. Bradford Meade, the man who brought Betty into Mode, is dead. And as the news recounts his passing and Claire’s arrest, we find out that Yoga (according to Claire) died in the escape attempt and totally isn’t waiting in the Suarez house for Fish.

Let’s put it bluntly: Bradford’s death wasn’t as emotional as Santos’ for somewhat obvious reasons. Maybe it is a writing thing or a directing thing, but creatively, though they are aiming for the same thing, Bradford’s feels more standard, manufactured soap opera death than a true gut punch. With Santos, the way that scene played out with “Somewhere (Reprise)” and Hilda’s screams feels raw in that moment. Bradford fell to the floor, and we got Jeff Buckley’s version of “Hallelujah.” Then, as the death is announced and everyone reacts to it, we get U2 and “Sometime You Can’t Make it On Your Own.”

For me at least, “Somewhere (Reprise)” and the way that whole scene played out to close last season can just hit you like a ton of bricks. Here we know it is coming. Trying to make that emotional, trying to add to that with music – especially music that’s so bland and overplayed – doesn’t really work as well as it should. It is emotional on its own without trying to do what Scrubs does with its unbelievable soundtrack too.

As an episode, “I see Me, I.C.U.” does practically everything right. To the point where I am looking at the portrayal of stereotypes for flaws, yet despite its impact on the show, it isn’t as highly regarded. On the surface, if I were to say I don’t think anything needs to be taken away or added to improve the episode, that would suggest it is perfect. Yet while that’s true – that I wouldn’t take or add much – I don’t think it is anywhere near perfect. It is one of those episodes that should be the standard for quality, but is still somewhere above that mark when compared and contrasted.

Ultimately, “I see Me, I.C.U.” might be the end of Bradford leading Meade Publications, but it is going to launch a thousand ships of schemes and drama to do with Mode and the business. Which evidently feeds my obsession with the show even more. Probably the best episode from Wrubal thus far, but that’s not saying much. While Rodman Flender just feels like a name that’s put on the credits without much to make his direction stand out or feel unique enough in any regard.

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Ugly Betty “I See Me, I.C.U.”

7.5

Score

7.5/10

Pros

• An episode with some heart put back into it.
• Look, an episode where I don't hate Henry.

Cons

• Could have made the death of Bradford less bland.
• L'Amanda is a bit too much of a stereotype.