Old gays, news gays, little gays, and little greys. Directed by James Hayman, we know this wonderful queen from directing all the big episodes of Ugly Betty, including “Queens for a Day,” “Sofia’s Choice,” “Derailed,” and, of course, “East Side Story.” While showrunner and writer of the last episode, Silvio Horta, is joined by his co-writer, Marco Pennette, last time out in “East Side Story”, Marco Pennette. We also get a new story editor in Sarah Kucserka, writer of “Fake Plastic Snow” and “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Kucserka also worked on Bull and The Summer I Turned Pretty. Her story-editing partner, Veronica West (neé Becker), joins too.

Three weeks on from a pregnancy scare, a convenience store shooting, a prison break, the discovery of a birth certificate, and a car crash, we’re letting the fallout wash over us like a disaster. While Alex Mapa’s Suzuki St Pierre makes his first appearance on Fashion TV’s exposition news. After the release of Prison Break: The Musical (Car Crash for the European release), everyone is recovering: Alexis is in a coma, Daniel is in a wheelchair, Papi is still in Mexico dealing with his immigration status, Amanda is eating the weight of Fey Sommer’s child in chocolate, and Betty is trying to keep it all together.

Most importantly, though, Hilda is up in her room with Santos, swooning over the wedding plans after finding a gray hair from all the stress. Tell me about it, sister. I sobbed myself into dehydration. She’s not the only one stressed, as Daniel deals with yet more grief, thinking about how his being high put Alexis on the verge of her deathbed, again. While Amanda’s “parents,” if that’s their real name, are budget Jeffrey Tambor and Holland Taylor in Kurt Fuller and Stephanie Faracy. Ok, that might be a bit harsh, but I could say worse about their tennis friends.

As I said before, it is now three weeks on from the events of “East Side Story” and the tragedy of that culmination. The Suarez house is in chaos, as Betty falls asleep in Papi’s chair instead of going to bed. It is the summer holidays, so Justin doesn’t have school but does have summer camp with much younger kids to go to. Hilda won’t come out of her room. There is nothing in the fridge, and the house is a mess. It is hard to blame anyone given the circumstances.

Meanwhile, Mode is being run by the home-wrecking bitch of the Upper East Side while Daniel is still in recovery, and Alexis is once again in a hospital setting. Sadly, there is no John Michael Dorian and Perry Cox to brighten the mood, just paparazzi trying to snap a shot of “WOKE” sleeping beauty. Of course, Disney would recast Princess Aurora to be a trans woman, and some people wouldn’t understand that I’m trying to be satirical to lighten the mood.

I wouldn’t say it is an episode void of lighter, enjoyable moments, but “How Betty Got Her Grieve Back” is heavily influenced by showing the repercussions of “East Side Story.” Both the lighter stuff and the more depressing, but also the somewhat solemn in between. It is one of those episodes where things happen, particularly big things happen, but we’re building towards a new set of stories and new ideas. It isn’t a “Punch Out” to “Petra Gate,” but we’re not exactly as explosive as “I’m coming out.” At least not with the stories as I’ve described them thus far.

So with Daniel moping about and Betty running about, the running of the magazine somewhat takes a step back this week. There is the story of Wilhelmina trying to get a photo shoot together showcasing women of disaster and how lip liner will take away the cares of a house fire or the destruction of a tornado. Sorry, yes, I can hear the adjective vapid phoning in right now to tell me to stop talking about it. However, that is a backstory to Wilhelmina, both dealing with the responsibility of being in charge while also dealing with Claire’s Wentworth Miller impression.

Hiding out in the Hamptons, Fish and Yoga are squatting at a mansion by the beach while Claire figures out how to get rid of the home-wrecker off her man’s blue-pill-assisted fella. Who knows, the wedding was postponed because of Daniel and Alexis’ crash, so maybe she can convince Bradford to break it off with Wilhelmina? Who am I kidding? That man chases tail more than my cat, and she’s a bit stupid.

Speaking of Dadford, Amanda goes home to Scarsdale (of all places) to confront her parents, who were in bed. In bed with their tennis doubles partners. I’m sure they were just trying to get warm in this summer chill in the middle of the day by getting under the covers naked together while their clothes dried… in a pool on the floor of the bedroom. Kurt, how is that “lethargic sperm” treating you these days? I’m sure nothing adult is going on in this house.

With Amanda looking like she’s eaten a Betty, and we’re already in an awkward moment, she comes out with it and finally asks why they lied to her all this time. Turns out Kurt Fuller’s Mr Tanen could get it up, but his little fella wouldn’t shoot fast enough at high noon to get anyone pregnant, so these two took Fey Sommers’ baby since Fey knew she couldn’t look after baby Amanda. The trouble is, Fey didn’t tell anyone about Andy Fickman’s 2002 sex-comedy film, Who’s Your Daddy? If only we knew who she was sleeping with for years and years behind the owner of Mode’s back.

Oh yeah, that’s right, Amanda was sleeping with the son of Fey’s long-term lover… “It’s incest.” Honey, that’s half the fantasy porn on the front page of PornHub, I’m not surprised that Marc said, “I gotta say, kinda hot.” So the story begins, the search for daddy, and the first stop is Dadford, with Marc doing a woman’s job. I.e., getting Bradford’s ear hair to do a DNA test.

Marc is all over this one this week; he’s with Amanda for her story of chocolate and Lucy MacLean side-quests, as well as helping Wilhelmina to tease Claire out of the shadows. No devious bastards here though, just some devious maids having a cat fight over one of the Neighbours. I believe if you got all of those references in one sentence, you do get a prize. You can redeem it by talking to Skaldak on the dark side of Mars. Ok, silly buggers aside, Claire sets up a meeting in an underpass by Bow Bridge, where Daniel and Betty are burying things to do with Henry.

Put simply, it is all a ruse. Claire tells Wilhelmina to go to the meeting point, but she sends Yoga. Wilhelmina agrees to go but sends Marc in her jacket, and both women meet in Bradford’s office. Thinking it is Bradford in his own office, Claire is pleased to see he’s in his office until she’s confronted by Wilhelmina, who tells Claire the cops are coming, better drink up the hooch I’ve just poured you. As it turns out, Claire doesn’t need the three minutes, though, as she takes the drink, punches Wilhelmina out, and runs back to the Hamptons with Yoga.

I like this Claire on the run storyline for the antics we get into, but sometimes it is just a superficial culmination like this we get in an episode. It is a weird one. A bit like how we’re still on this Betty-Henry storyline despite the fact that they have nothing to give each other. “Oh, but he makes Betty feel better than she felt with Walter.” Some double-A batteries could make you feel better than Walter ever made anyone feel anything positive. No one needs or wants a love-triangle because they never do anything interesting while being logical or even within character.

Betty is a smart young woman, Henry is a boring yet lovable smart young guy, but the two of them just have nothing. The fact that we’re doing this funeral “for things Betty kept that make her think of Henry” just extends a storyline that could have rightfully died and stayed buried in season 1. Sure, he doesn’t know about Jesse Tyler Ferguson sleeping with his pregnant partner, but maybe return in season 4 with that information, and Betty will be grown-up enough to say “enough is enough, bye Henry.” Love triangles are high-school teenager stuff at best.

Ok, now I’ve gotten angry, let’s talk about Daniel watching over Alexis’ body as she’s in a coma. It isn’t long, not yet anyway, but we do get that sense of grief he was talking about in her office during “East Side Story,” and he gets angry at a paparazzi trying to get the TMZ/Fashion TV payday. Here we go, though, as Alexis wakes while Daniel is breaking down and telling her how important Alexis is, only for her to say the clichéd line, “Why do you keep calling me Alexis? It’s me, Alex.” I think you can hear me exasperatedly trying to walk around this minefield.

From the frying pan to the boiling cauldron. It is a very Telenovela/soap opera kind of storyline that is “of a time,” whether it is good or not. As I’ve said before, I tend to take these things on a scene-by-scene basis simply because there is a bit more nuance than everything being done with malice. There are parts of this whole Alexis storyline that are ham-fisted; I can’t get away from that, but I also think there are elements that did some good. This? Not really one of them.

However, as you might have guessed, that isn’t the big reveal and big moment of the episode, nor is someone showing up to Aunt Mirta’s place with a gun for Ignacio soon. Interspersed throughout the episode, we get glimpses of Hilda up in her bedroom with a heavily bandaged up Santos recovering from the gunshot wound. It almost makes you wish it were real.

They talk about the wedding, plans in general, and he convinces her to wear the wedding dress as she convinces him to tell her his vows. It might be viewed as sacrilege to the almighty Bill Lawrence, but that twist, as Santos says, “We can’t stay in here forever. I think I have to go” before Hilda breaks down. Only for that cut to Betty knocking on the door, and we get a scene similar to “My Screwup” that confirmed it. Santos is actually dead. Hilda’s breakdown last time was real; this was her grief taking hold, and she’s spent the whole three weeks in her room crying.

It might not be as impactful as “My Screwup” from Scrubs or even come close to eclipsing it, but Ugly Betty is one of the few shows to get as close as it does and still make it powerful. Of all the directors for Ugly Betty so far, James Hayman is one of the few who know how to make the most of scenes like that with the simplest bits of direction. I don’t think anyone could save the scenes about Henry, but by God, he can draw every emotion out of a scene with Ana Ortiz.

Ultimately, as a season opener to Ugly Betty, “How Betty Got Her Grieve Back” resets the stage and launches new storylines into interesting directions while closing out one of the most emotional stories of the show. It is the second time in a row I’m standing up and applauding Ana Ortiz for punching me right in the heart after bemoaning Hilda’s childishness in “I’m Coming Out.” The only real complaint to have right now is about Henry. It makes me want to scream at Betty about her actual goals.

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Ugly Betty "How Betty Got Her Grieve Back"

7.5

Score

7.5/10

Pros

• Ana Ortiz, twice in a row.
• James Hayman knows how to direct an episode with a twist.
• Dadford!

Cons

• I will buy kryptonite and bury Superman myself.
• A minefield of a trans storyline only made more complicated to defend.