My bio here on Phenixx Gaming says that I’m “a man who’s just trying to get through his game backlog before the heat death of the universe, and yet can’t seem to stop adding to said game backlog.” Well, I’ve decided I want to try my darnedest to make a dent in that backlog. Thus, Alexx suggested a new review format to help with that. In each Backlog Busting article, I’ll play a previously unplayed game (usually from my Steam library) for no more than two hours and review it based on what I experienced during that time.

For this inaugural Backlog Busting review, I’ve had a look at Ampu-Tea. In Ampu-Tea, you play as an unseen British man who has recently had an arm amputated. Your missing arm was replaced with “the latest modern technology” in the form of “the KS-001 Robo-arm,” which (supposedly) “is capable of delicate tasks – if used efficiently.” Based on my time with Ampu-Tea, I beg to differ. I don’t think there’s any possible way this fancy new robot arm can be used efficiently. That’s especially true if you have issues with eyesight and/or fine motor skills, both of which apply to me.

Ampu-Tea’s core gameplay loop requires you to use your new robotic arm and hand — and nothing else, not even your (presumably) remaining natural arm — to make a cup of tea with various requirements. You might need to add extra sugar or extra milk to your current cup of tea, for example. You use the mouse and its two main buttons to move your arm and adjust its position. Once you think your arm is where you want it, you’ll then use the Q, W, E, and R keys to clench your fingers and thumb.

If you’ve played similar “gimmick games” like QWOP or Surgeon Simulator, I’m sure this is starting to ring a bell for you. Ampu-Tea isn’t shy about declaring that it was inspired by Surgeon Simulator, but that inspiration seems to have manifested in all the worst ways. You can press the spacebar to switch between two different viewing angles. The problem with this is that both of these are equally terrible for me due to my total lack of depth perception. That’s combined with having to make surgically precise mouse movements, which is much easier said than done for players with motor skill issues.

Those are the main reasons why I get the impression Ampu-Tea might as well have been designed from the ground up to spite players with specific accessibility needs. Considering that I’m one such player and that the core of Phenixx Gaming’s mission statement is to highlight the importance of making games accessible to everyone, that really doesn’t sit well with me. I also dislike the fact that many of the attempts at humor within Ampu-Tea feel forced. That being said, Ampu-Tea could still give you a few cheap laughs if you’re easily amused (like I usually am).

Honestly, the main reason I decided to have a look at Ampu-Tea is because it has Steam trading cards that I can sell on the Steam Community Market. Even though I’ll probably make hardly any money from doing so, every cent counts since I’m saving up to take full advantage of this year’s Steam Winter Sale. The idea that I only played a game so that I can sell its trading cards and truthfully say I’ve at least tried it is going to be a recurring theme throughout this series. I’ll find some hidden gems in my backlog eventually, but this isn’t one of them.

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Ampu-Tea

$4.99

4

Score

4.0/10

Pros

• Gameplay is good for a few cheap laughs.

Cons

• Don’t even bother trying to play if you have issues with eyesight and/or motor skills.
• Gameplay is “inspired” by Surgeon Simulator in all the worst ways.
• Most attempts at humor feel forced.