From one gay speaking up, to one very loud and proud little gay. Directed by Miguel Arteta in his only episode of Ugly Betty, he would also direct “Diwali” from The Office (the good one), Six Feet Under, an episode of Succession, and, most recently at the time of writing, an episode of Poker Face with Richard Kind and Rhea Perlman. Meanwhile, returning from his previous episode “Lose the Boss?,” for his final outing as a writer of Ugly Betty, Oliver Goldstick returns before moving on to Pretty Little Liars.

With the most attractive sister a brother could gain after thinking she was dead for a while, the himbo is back on the bimbo train. Now that Alexis is effectively running the magazine and trying to free her mother, Daniel has got more time to do his favorite activities, like being in the worst legal position ever. Meanwhile, Constance invites Ignacio over for dinner with his immigration lawyer, who doesn’t show, and Wilhelmina tries to turn on an old man. Though none of that is why we’re here, now, is it?

For one episode, the dearly loved, so adored, and constantly missed Leslie Jordan makes his only appearance as Quincy Combs, a private dick who is indeed a little Richard in everyone’s side. One of these sleazy tabloid biographers who makes the rich and famous sound just as trashy as the characters from My Name Is Earl. Before he was massively popular on social media during the pandemic, this lovely little man just delighted everyone with his colorful and vibrant characters. From Mr Blackly, Theodore Van Glorious, Felix Bergman, Beverley Leslie, but most importantly (behind Quincy Combs), as Bernard Ferrion in Boston Legal.

Maybe I’m on my man-period, but when I saw that little red hat, I might have shed a little happy tear. Then I had to go look at a few of his old TikToks. I’ll tell you what, Leslie Jordan was a true little beacon of light. Just as delightful as ever, and with that high-pitched Southern thing in his voice, he’s every bit the Leslie Jordan you adore in everything else. However, I can’t just drone on about him for several hundred words – though I wish I could – as it is also the last appearance of Octavia Spencer as Constance Grady, another character that’s quite colorful.

After seeing the writing on the wall with Alexis and Daniel, as well as Claire’s insistence that it will only be a Meade who will run Mode, Wilhelmina gets another scheme in her head. Sleep with Bradford. Worked out well for Fey when she angered Claire. What could genuinely go wrong? Meanwhile, after speaking with a beloved little tabloid man, Alexis finds out about Bradford and Fey’s Love Dungeon. A secret room within the Mode offices where the two would have sex in the middle of the day – most of us say we’re going for a smoke and play with ourselves in the car.

While Daniel is man-whoring it up in every New York tabloid, it isn’t surprising to find that an attractive young blonde woman with an accent shows up with a similarly blonde and vaguely similar-looking woman with her. I’ve already said “too much” for you not to connect the pieces together on this plotline, but with Daniel looking to avoid work and sleep with everything that walks upright, he does kind of mess up. Not just because he pushes away Betty, telling her that her day ends the second the two of them are out of the Meade Publications building. No, he sleeps with AnnaLynne McCord’s Petra.

The snag on this man-whoring adventure is that Ivana Milicevic’s Lena isn’t Petra’s sister, but her mother. Not just her mother, but the mother of a “sixteen-year-old.” Put simply, Daniel isn’t in the right for sleeping with everything with a heartbeat, but at the same time, you have to admit that a mother pimping out her kid for a magazine cover isn’t exactly moral either. Both are technically digging graves for themselves, but given the high-profile nature of Daniel’s job and who he is, we know what the court of public opinion would do. If you want to be a himbo, go ahead, but do it legally and safely.

Betty’s whole story is that: She sees Daniel becoming more distant as Alexis takes control of the magazine, she wants to drag him back, but he refuses. Will she come calling when he asks for her help? To further us along with the whole “can Betty trust Daniel, can Daniel trust Betty?” plotline, it works, but it isn’t bounding us forward at high speed. We’ve established that Betty is loyal, but when Daniel pushes her away, can she maintain that loyal, chipper character we’ve come to know?

So Bradford is a feet pervert. I don’t really have a better way to transition to that, so you’re just getting the bluntness of me calling Alan Dale a pervert in this role, and you can like it or lump it. As it turns out, Fey would keep her feet perfectly primmed so this pervy old man could quite literally suck on her toes – I’ve got a feeling Bradford would have lost the company millions to OnlyFans. You like sucking on toes? Go ahead, but it ain’t for me.

That’s Wilhelmina’s great new plan with the help of the little gay in the red hat, have the pervert sucking on her manicured toes and maybe having sex with those poo boners as Bradford wakes up in the morning. Shut up, I know it was a pedicure, I need to at least keep up some veneer of being straighter than a ruler, right? I mean, if it works, honey, and you ain’t pressured into it, ride that man and climb that ladder. Though I will say that most people do it from low positions – a receptionist sleeping with the top boss to move away from reception – but I guess going from creative control of the magazine to wholesale control is good too.

As an episode, there isn’t really much going on. “Punch Out” feels like an episode 6 of a 10-episode run, if you know what I mean? It has fun bits, it has the guest star that’s delightful, it does push the mystery we’re moving onto a bit further, and we have fun doing it – it isn’t throwing us forward like the reveal of Alexis or that time Bradford was arrested during Fashion Week. I guess it feels like the season as a whole is two modern seasons – the first part about who killed Fey and who the mystery woman was, with this second part about control and a further depth of the Fey mystery.

I love “Punch Out” simply because Leslie Jordan is such a delight. In fact, I thought he was in more scenes and made more drama. He’s not, much like himself, his appearance is short, sweet, and full of camp dramatic flair – I love it. The Betty in the club bit, using the guy to see things, the Christina drama, and all of that is a bit like a wet fart; you just hope it isn’t a long-term mess to clean up. I might be unpopular in saying this, however, but I don’t hate the Wilhelmina scheming bit, though I could do without the foot fetish.

A solid B episode, “Punch Out,” is ultimately an episode to service another episode or another mystery that’s going to blow off elsewhere. The blow off with Constance, despite the fact that it is very dramatized and not really taking mental health too seriously, is an absolute delight that sells me on Octavia Spencer even before The Help. I can’t say it enough, “Punch Out” is a fun episode that is very camp and very 2006-2007. Something we don’t really see now with its several plots, its nice flow, and never weighing itself down too much.

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Ugly Betty "Punch Out"

7

Score

7.0/10

Pros

• Leslie Jordan is a genuine delight.
• Octavia Spencer, playing crazy like only crazy can.

Cons

• The whole "can Betty trust Daniel, can Daniel trust Betty?" thing.
• That club bit with the guy really makes me dislike Betty and the writers.