Monday, Sam Elliott and Patrick Swayze dusted off not getting checks with Roudhouse Sim, and Monday Syndrome is everyone’s fantasy. Tuesday, the sky is blue, the ocean is blue, and after that State of Play (coverage later today), parts of me are blue, but the sun sees fit to rise, so of course, there is another bloody Rogue-lite coming to PC. Wednesday, SUDA51 is a nutter, whom I do adore. Monster Hunter Wilds is a year old and, like most one-year-olds, is annoying, but at least I can blow up something other than Kerbals with Besiege‘s new expansion announced this week.

Moving on to the Epic Games Store this week, and it is another one of those blasted, god-forsaken double-bills. A detective double-bill, we’ll start with the mobile and PC offering, The Darkside Detective: A Fumble in the Dark, a detective game about nonsense. Oddly enough, that’s how I’d describe all of Fringe after watching the majority of it, often finding the back of my eyelids more entertaining. A point-and-click adventure-style detective endeavour, it has circus clowns, old women, and pixel art wrestling – all the horror tropes.

Moving on to what I actually want to talk about, my game of the year for 2024, Nobody Wants to Die. Or as I was putting it two weeks ago, “pweese Jeebuz, let me die!” A Fifth Element-style cyberpunk-esque dystopia by way of 1930s art deco retro-futurism; cocaine would be a less lethal substance to me. Very mysanthropic, very mood, but also not lost in the sauce of forcing you into needless combat, Nobody Wants to Die is a solid game through and through. It isn’t long, it isn’t overly complicated, and it isn’t terribly written.

All this week, you can pick up Nobody Wants to Die on the Epic Games Store for PC, with The Darkside Detective: A Fumble in the Dark available via PC and mobile until the 19th of February. Moving on to next week, it is another double-bill that I’m exhausted by the pure existence of as a dyslexic and someone who hates Roblox. First up will be monochromatic visual novel Return to Ash, featuring someone with an IV drip, which is about death and features queer characters. Meanwhile, STALCRAFT: X is a free-to-play Roblox mix of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. and Metro. Indeed, a play about pieces of feces.

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