Happy Halloween… I wrote this in June. Directed by Rodman Flender, I’ll admit that it is difficult to say he’s known for a lot of work. Flender (Bender’s flan-based cousin) does two episodes of Ugly Betty, an episode of Gilmore Girls, Dawson’s Creek, The O.C., The Office, and the short-lived Jane Levy-led sitcom, Suburgatory. While the episode was written by Donald Todd, with a similar scattered history that includes one episode of Ugly Betty, The Twilight Zone (1985-89), ALF, Hart of Dixie, Sleepy Hollow, This is Us, and the creator of Edgar Ramirez-led short series, Florida Man. I don’t think this will be an all-timer, you know?

“Marc! That’s the absolute cruelest thing I’ve ever seen. Someone’s getting a raise.” Yes, following the Christmas episode with Fey and Claire’s boxes, it is only fitting that it is Halloween. So Marc dresses as Betty, Ignacio acts like his HMO says and dies while reading the paper, and Justin is one of the Village People. So while Ignacio loves Halloween, Better Call Saul’s Howard Hamlin is calling Wilhemina a cradle robber for being on a date with a man in his 30s. Watch out, Bill Belichick, you’ll be told you’re robbing the womb next week – oh yeah, wrong crowd.

After Walter did the boombox out the window thing, by singing the karaoke of “Beauty and the Beast” by Paul McCartney, he and Betty are back together for now, sure. I’m just not bothered by it; you can tell he’s more invested in it simply for companionship than because of Betty, and she’s been railroaded into the relationship again. So while Betty wins the Mode costume contest by being the only one in costume, Daniel has been a man-whore and left his watch in some woman’s apartment, but he can’t remember who. Oh, and mother dearest is a drunk, played by the fantastic and wonderful Judith Light.

I also forgot this is the episode we get Christopher Gorham’s Henry, because who needs two or three storylines when you can have several? Correction: several storylines that are connected to something else that is already going on. Even when the episode’s quality takes a bit of a dip from last time out, a lot is going on, and it doesn’t stop. I sat and counted the storylines for “The Lyin’, the Watch and the Wardrobe.” Depending on whether you count certain things like Henry and Nico as part of other stories, there are literally between five and eight plotlines to keep track of.

The main through lines of the episode are Daniel’s watch that’s gone missing, and Betty has to track them down, but Daniel, being the man-whore he is, forgets about the most important one. As Betty tracks down Ms Monday (Amanda), whom Daniel forgot, Walter asks Betty to move in with him as sexy-nerd Henry from accounting is a bit flirty and offers Betty something else. All the while, Daniel is following the music box and conspiracy by asking his mother, who is in rehab after Bradford placed her there, what the deal was with the affair and so on. Also, Wilhelmina deals with aging, weight gain, and her 20-something daughter.

What I think Ugly Betty does so well, especially for this first little run leading up to the big reveals in season 1, is the ability to embed so many little storylines throughout. Not just to fill out the plot but to develop character. For example, with Christina in the closet, Betty explains that Walter is the only person she’s been with ever, and it’s implied that he’s the only person she’s been with sexually. We’ll skip past the fact that both characters don’t have that same sexual energy with each other, because Christina basically tells Betty to act human and be a confident young woman.

I think I need to talk about Walter and Betty as a whole here. While I love America Ferrera and Kevin Sussman as actors individually, the characters don’t feel like they are in a relationship for the same reasons. Yes, that’s sort of the point of the plotline, but even then, I’m left wondering why the characters themselves (or at least Betty) don’t see that Walter is a clingy, emotionally immature, co-dependent who falls hard and fast for the first person that gives him attention. The type of character that is played out and given no time or energy to improve and do better.

He doesn’t challenge Betty, he doesn’t help her grow, and he feels comfortable where he is; he’s an anchor on the character. Maybe I’m looking at it too much as a reviewer, but Walter and his prototypical character archetype are what I’ve never loved in a love interest. Ugly Betty does “silly” plotlines, but he feels too immature. That and he’s so bloody boring!

On the other side of the spectrum, we have Wilhelmina, played by the fantastic, beautiful, and wonderful Vanessa Williams, realizing she’s “a woman of a certain age.” Again, there is a “silliness” to it, something that’s odd but you want to laugh and enjoy the absurdity of the whole thing, yet it is true. Once again, it is a storyline about the fashion industry and society as a whole with the unbelievable and unrealistic beauty standards on women, not just in their 20s, but 30s, 40s, 50s, and hell, even 60s or above.

I think it is best summed up in that scene with Keeley and Rebecca in Ted Lasso’s “Trent Crimm: The Independent,” the episode with the line, “Well, the press are never awful to men.” Women have to be a certain size, a certain look, and act a certain way to men and differently to women. They should smile more but not too much, they’re allowed to eat but not too much, and allowed to tan but not too much. Dye your hair, but not too much or let it slip; you can’t age, and you’re supposed to show skin, but not too much.

Meanwhile, man-whore Daniel here could sleep with a different woman every night, no matter the age, turn gray, put on a little weight, and eat whatever he wants, as long as he’s charming and tall enough. That’s fine, apparently. I think my note on Marc’s line “You’re never nice” to Christina is apt – Mate, we’re Scottish, we’re never nice. The point is, before we had Helen Mirren telling us Margot Robbie was the wrong person to cast as Barbie for the point of that movie, Ugly Betty was doing that very story all the time.

You see, with Ugly Betty, there is a sense of fantastical, hyper-drama that you’ll find in Telenovelas (for obvious reasons). Part of that is due to the mad idea of the fashion world and other cliff-hanger plotlines that are a little spoilery right now, but despite the insane setting and high drama, there is an honesty and brutal truth to a lot of what Ugly Betty tries to do a lot of the time. We’ll talk about it more in the coming episodes, but Ignacio is a great example of this.

I obviously have my misgivings with the whole relationship-Walter thing that’s going on; it just isn’t the storyline I’m invested in for multiple reasons. I don’t want to give too much of a spoiler, but Henry (a boring accountant, let that sink in) is far more interesting, attractive, and generally has more chemistry with Betty overall. “The Lyin’, the Watch and the Wardrobe” isn’t a bad episode, though the title could use another comma. It does most things right by looking into each character’s mask on the day most people wear them. However, despite having a strong thematic idea, we only get a tiny bit of progress for such an episode.

There are funny lines and memorable bits, staples of the show in fact. Yet, for all the fresh and pomp of Wilhelmina breaking down a bit of that facade with someone other than Marc and the mystery woman, or Betty dressed as the butterfly (hold on to that), it feels fleeting or like very little in the long term. Without going into the late-in-episode spoilers, the biggest part of the episode was the introductions of Henry and, of course, Judith Light’s Claire Meade. Oh, how I love Claire!

Ultimately, “The Lyin’, the Watch and the Wardrobe” might not feel like the big coming-out and heart-warming moment for Justin in “Fey’s Sleigh Ride,” what we “lost” in heart-warming, we gained in emotion and very late episode reveals. The standouts in those latter moments are Ignacio, Amanda, and Wilhelmina, with Amanda and Wilhelmina having their villain roles broken down a little. It shows that despite its happy-go-lucky, simple prime-time for middle-aged women facade, Ugly Betty is a much deeper show than you might think.

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Ugly Betty “The Lyin’, the Watch and the Wardrobe”

7

Score

7.0/10

Pros

• A great look at people's masks on the day they wear them.
• Judith Light’s Claire Meade.
• Ignacio's [spoiler-based] story.
• Amanda is really breaking out as a heartbreaking character.

Cons

• When Walter is gone, I'll be happy.