David’s Backlog Busting: Lichtspeer (PC) Preview

I have a confession to make. I have a category set up in my Steam library that I use as a catch-all for games that, upon scrolling past them in my backlog, make me think anything along the lines of, “What the heck is this game?” or, “When did I buy this game and what was I thinking when I did?” That category is by far the most populated of all the categories I’ve set up within Steam, which means it must contain some hidden gems. My subject today may or may not be one of them; I can’t decide.

What we’ve got here is Lichtspeer, developed by Lichthund and published by Crunching Koalas. To be blunt, Lichtspeer knows its concept is ridiculous, and it fully leans into that ridiculousness for comic effect. The proverbial tongue is firmly in the proverbial cheek as far as Lichtspeer is concerned. Considering I often make up nonsensical German “words” for fun because I think the German language is hilarious, it’s almost like Lichtspeer was developed to appeal to me specifically. You start by choosing your “Lichtmeister’s” gender and name. You’re brought before the Lichtgod, who looks quite like a caricature of Hulk Hogan.

The Lichtgod has decided he wants a human champion to fight (and die repeatedly) for his amusement, and you’ve been conscripted into that role. Because the Lichtgod knows “your tiny human fists” are insufficient for the task, he gifts you the mythical Lichtspeer, a javelin made out of the Lichtgod’s light. You’ll have to throw the Lichtspeer in order to fight off waves of enemies in various levels whose names also poke fun at the German language. Lichtspeer’s core gameplay loop is really enjoyable, but it’s also one of multiple areas that presents several potential accessibility concerns I want to mention.

You use the Lichtspeer by holding down left-click to aim and then releasing left-click to fire. If you have any dexterity issues that might make that problematic for you, you might want to avoid Lichtspeer. There’s also the possibility that Lichtspeer could negatively affect anyone with photosensitivity issues or any degree of colorblindness due to the colors it frequently uses. That being said, I have certain photosensitivity issues, and I wasn’t bothered by Lichtspeer, but I know that won’t be universally true. What bothered me a fair bit is how the enemies’ color schemes frequently blend into the background.

Having enemies that are likely to be nearly the same color as the background scenery might have been an intentional design choice to add an extra layer of challenge. If that is indeed the case, that strikes me as an ill-advised decision. A setting in the options menu to help enemies visually stand out wouldn’t have gone amiss, but no such option exists as far as I can tell.

Having said all of that, I have to say I really enjoy Lichtspeer’s core gameplay loop aside from those pesky visual issues. As you use the Lichtspeer to eliminate wave after wave of enemies, you’re awarded points for things like accuracy, landing long-distance shots, and how many headshots you score during each round. At the end of each level, these points are converted into currency – called “Licht Standard Denomination,” or “LSD” for short – that you can spend on permanent upgrades. Lichtspeer’s developers undoubtedly knew exactly what they were doing with that joke, and I can’t help but chuckle at it.

You usually die in one hit unless you have some means of protecting yourself from enemy attacks, but that’s counterbalanced by how quickly you can restart a stage upon death. Lichtspeer’s core gameplay loop is just as likely to give you a visceral sense of satisfaction from landing a spear you were sure you would miss as it is to invoke guttural anger when the opposite happens. I’ve found that aspect of Lichtspeer rather addicting, similar to how much I relish briefly getting to feel smart when I make progress in a puzzle game. If you’re anything like me, you’ll probably feel similarly about Lichtspeer.