FNAF: Into the Pit and Bendy and the Ink Machine are free on Epic

Monday, fee-fi-fo-fum… something, something, Kingdom Come Deliverance II DLC yet to come. Shut up, it’s early in the morning! Nivalis once again got a delay, into 2026. Tuesday, Terra Firma 2 is now in early access because the billionaires are ruining the one we already have. Wednesday, Doctor Who will return – in 2026, without the Disney money. Thursday, Amazon Game Studios is ditching MMOs for AI-first slop, which is like swapping a freshly curled turd on a plate for diarrhea being shot against the wall, and Cauldron is now on Nintendo Switch.

Moving on to the Epic Games Store for this week, and it is another double bill of things I’m grossly underqualified to talk about. We’ll start with the one that I have so little interest in that I can tell it through a fun little story: Before the pandemic, I worked with kids doing something, and one of the kids tried to explain the lore of Five Nights at Freddy‘s the way kids do. Can I remember any of that lecture from 6-7 years ago? Nope. Can I remember what I was wearing that day and describe the rest of the room in detail? Yes, yes, I can.

Listen, if I could talk about Mega Cat Studios’ licensed Five Nights at Freddy’s: Into the Pit, I’d need to be forcing Tylenol (paracetamol) down my throat like Skittles. It is the same thing as every other one of these vague horror things in the franchise, built for certain folks that I have no interest in. Power to you if you enjoy it, I’m just too busy in my own world of focusing on Women’s football and literally anything else.

I can’t wait to get canceled for half of that, but let’s go back to a time when it was ok to be grossly offensive because there was still a second World War to take place. This week’s mobile and PC Epic Games Store offering, Bendy and the Ink Machine, is a Fleischer-esque first-person puzzle horror with nightmare fuel right out of the 1930s, including Bendy with a human man’s body. If I’m honest, this is the horror I prefer because it is actually unique and trying to be creepy rather than only shouting “boo!!” and clanging saucepans.

All this week, you can pick up Five Nights at Freddy’s: Into the Pit and Bendy and the Ink Machine on the Epic Games Store for PC, with Bendy also being available on the Epic Games Store for mobile (Android worldwide, iOS in the EU) until the 6th of November. Onto next week, and it is an odd 3D puzzle game, Felix the Reaper. Despite hearing about it, I’ll admit this one passed me by back in 2019. Maybe if I don’t talk about the other thing next week that’s free-to-play, it will go away. One can only hope!