Absurdly strange dreams are an almost nightly occurrence for me. Compared to the nightmares I used to have, though, I’ll gladly take the weird dreams with which those nightmares seem to have been replaced. I’d much rather wake up asking myself, “What the heck was that about?” compared to waking up panicking in a cold sweat. Under my reviewing microscope today is Moroi, a game that feels like a cross between my weirdest dreams and my mildly terrifying nightmares. My time with Moroi has left me with tons more questions than answers, the most common question being, “What the heck is going on?”

Moroi presents itself as being steeped in Eastern European folklore. Since I’m somewhat of a folklore buff, that description definitely made my ears perk up. The problem I have here is that, thanks to the “amazing” American education system, I can’t point out the majority of Eastern European countries on a map, let alone recite any knowledge of their folklore. I thought I could get past that minor hurdle and enjoy my time with Moroi. Unfortunately, even though I could indeed circumnavigate that issue, I soon encountered plenty more that ultimately made me give up trying to enjoy Moroi.

You’re probably not going to enjoy Moroi much if you can’t accept the fact that very little (if anything) about it is going to make any sense whatsoever. If, like me, you have an overly logical mind that demands that everything make sense at all times, that by itself might be enough to put you off Moroi. If not that, Moroi will also test your tolerance for gratuitous gore and incredibly dark humor. The latter of those rarely bothers me, and Moroi is no exception there. The gore, however, quickly made me uncomfortable and only added to that over time.

As an example, early on, you meet a talking duck who rips its teeth from its mouth and gives them to you as thanks for freeing it from captivity. The duck explains (through a mouthful of blood) that it’ll be fine because its teeth fully regrow every day. You can then attach the duck’s teeth to your melee weapons to make them more powerful. Why did any of this need to be included in Moroi? I have no idea, but I bet you’re now more keenly aware of your teeth than you’ve ever been before. I know I certainly was after that encounter.

I get the feeling Moroi didn’t include that encounter as a way of terrifying its player base into immediately visiting the dentist. That leads me to conclude that Moroi contains so much gore merely for the sake of it, which doesn’t sit well with me. The idea of including gratuitous amounts of something just for the sake of it also applies to Moroi’s difficulty. Moroi wants to be a dark fantasy, hack-and-slash, Souls-like, Metroidvania-esque puzzle game all at once. Moroi seems to have put particular emphasis on the punishing difficulty common among Souls-likes, which has been another major issue for me.

Because Moroi tries to do so many different things, it consequently doesn’t do any of those things well at all. Any game that tries to fit into so many different genres is just spreading itself too thin, and Moroi is no exception. I suspect that’s also why Moroi is so janky and full of glitches. During one bit where I had to fight a large group of “earth mages” above a pool of lava, I couldn’t help but notice that the enemies tended to run in place — frequently with nothing underneath them — and to float in midair after I had killed them.

While some glitches I encountered were amusing, they were also just about the only thing I liked about Moroi. I don’t think I need to explain why that’s a problem. I can appreciate the dark fantasy atmosphere and the even darker humor, but those cannot carry a game by themselves. Especially not if the core gameplay is as poorly optimized and thinly spread as that of Moroi. Moroi frequently made me wonder what the heck was going on, and now I have my answer: I don’t know, but now I’m free to go play something else I’ll probably enjoy a lot more.

A PC review key for Moroi was provided by Good Shepherd Entertainment for this review.

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Moroi

$14.99

5.5

Score

5.5/10

Pros

• Immersive atmosphere.
• Interesting story concept.

Cons

• Unnecessary amounts of gore.
• Gameplay seems to be difficult for difficulty's sake.
• The core gameplay loop tries to be too many things at once.
• Bugs and glitches abound.