Sports: Renovations (PC) - Preview

To paraphrase William Shakespeace: [I’ll renovate] a horse, a house, my kingdom for a hearse. The, for lack of a better term for the genre, tidy-up simulator has exploded since the House Flipper, WW2 Rebuilder, and Crime Scene Cleaner titles, expanding the genre to niches within niches. Dear Villagers and Goat Gamez’s Sports: Renovations is an upcoming title releasing later this month, with a heavy focus on… You guessed it: knitting. No, that sports ball everyone is always talking about instead of interesting things like tax forms and spreadsheets.

As the only demo I played during the Steam Next Fest because I’m busier than your dad by the docks, I thought I’d give a quick observation of Sports: Renovations. Storywise, you or the person who is “funding” the renovation sees a news story that the local basketball team is folding. The writing isn’t really that impressive or interesting. Eventually, you’re given the go-ahead to rebuild the “arena” the team plays in. To actually do it, you need to get money by doing everyone else’s odd sports-based renovations before you get to do the team’s arena, which needs to be completed in about 6 months.

Oddities aside, it is supposed to be a story that gets us from A to B to otherwise give us the “set pieces” of refurbishing a gym. The gym is run by a woman who seems so Irish that I’m surprised the stereotype isn’t a profile picture of a withering potato. That’s the sole demo level available currently, a tutorial to show off all the tools and mechanics. There isn’t too much to complain about: A power washer to clean, a paint gun to paint, a hammer to smash big stuff, a vacuum to tidy up, and a bag to sink 3-pointers into the bin.

The typical laissez-faire of these games commences; clean how you please and get the job done. Much like Crime Scene Cleaner, however, there is a bit more of a focus on a story. Particularly the story of the character you’re working for or the sport itself. Towards the end of the demo level you’re asked to build a boxing ring, Car Mechanic Simulator-style, screwing in the posts to the ground and all. I don’t mind or hate that, but having a podcast by the most generic old man about the history of boxing isn’t my reason for playing.

My problem isn’t so much that it is there but how it is written. The way all of Sports: Renovations is written is a bit of an issue. The news story in the opening scene sounds like it is read by an AI text-to-speech voice. I’m not opposed to that for personal use, as that’s how I read my articles back sometimes. That said, it doesn’t make already-bloated writing any more digestible, nor does the over-the-top “I’ve just watched Derry Girls, so I’ll use ‘Craic’ all the time” writing either.

Sports: Renovations doesn’t need to be a well-written masterpiece, just like House Flipper or any of the others. It also doesn’t need 5-minute monologues on the history of every sport either. At least that isn’t optional. The subgenre of the tidy-up sim is part of the larger “dad sim,” so either you’re already listening to music or a podcast. The constant butting in, “I have a degree in creative writing,” doesn’t help the overall game.

The game also isn’t all that graphically impressive, nor does it need to be. The performance of the demo is surprisingly smooth given modern releases, though if you need things like XeSS, Fsr, or DLSS, you only get the former two at least for the demo. Otherwise, it is graphical presets and a couple of accessibility options to boot. I’m glad head bob and camera shake are something to disable, or I’d be violently ill while writing this.

Every slow and lumbering swing of the sledgehammer, similar to Crime Scene Cleaner, is somewhat vomit-inducing with the amount of shake. Maybe that’s because none of the accessibility or graphical options (thus far) include an FOV slider/grade, which might help. I’m glad the bin bag is a simple click and hold, with the detritus of a neglected gym hovering straight in like a 60s cartoon character floats towards a freshly baked pie. All the mechanics feel as if they’re fine, in a perfunctory manner.

Part of me doesn’t like giving an example here simply because it invites the “Well, which one is better” argument before full release, but if anything, I’m more likely to compare Sports: Renovations to Crime Scene Cleaner. There is a little bit of Euro-jank, a little bit of odd controls (Alt for tablet and Tab for tools?), and the aforementioned dependence on the story, but also just that level of enjoyment. There are certainly things to say about Sports: Renovations that maybe do and don’t work, but it has ideas and offers something particular.

I’m certainly interested in the release of Sports: Renovations later this month on March 27th. Maybe the history of sports and endless characterization of people you work for could have been more of an optional podcast during gameplay (unlike Hardspace: Shipbreaker), but that’s just me being picky. I certainly want to see more from the full release, but if you’re unsure about Sports: Renovations, I’d highly suggest checking out the demo if you can.